cumslayer:

cumslayer:

So I went on a date today and we went to a nice restaurant before going to the movies and I ordered the “iced grape popsicles” for dessert because I love grape Popsicles so why not right?…..so the waiter brings out the “iced grape popsicles” aND THEY WERE LITERALLY 3 FROZEN GRAPES ON STICKS…..I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE OFFENDED IN MY LIFE…SINCE WHEN ARE 3 FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES IN A FUCKING VASE AN ACCEPTABLE SINGLE DESSERT ORDER..ITS NOT EVEN FROZEN GRAPE JUICE OR SOMETHING ITS LITERALLY JUST A 0.02$ GRAPE THAT WAS PUT ON A STICK THEN FROZEN…LIKE SOMEONE ACTUALLY WROTE THIS DOWN ON THE MENU THINKING “OH YEAH PEOPLE FUCKING LOVE COLD GRAPES” AND SOME OTHER ASSHAT SAID “BRAH. HEAR ME OUT, HOW ABOUT WE PUT THEM ON STICKS AND SERVE THEM IN A VASE WITH NOTHING ELSE” LIKE YOU COULDNT EVEN SERVE IT WITH A FUCKING SECOND FRUIT OR EVEN FUCKING LEAVES OR WHATEVER… IM SO MAD. FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES ON A STICK.

AND THEY WERENT EVEN SEEDLESS GRAPES…..

(via cornflakefiesta)

symbioticlifeform:

thesweetpianowritingdownmylife:

l1ttl3th0ughts:

thisisswasteland:

pancaikes:

diabetic-homeless-hookers-18:

bucketofboners:

Girls, wearing dresses made of cheese, posing in front of cars.

what

beauty comes in all shapes and sizes

Can someone explain this to me

why the cheese though 

Gishwhes

(via sigerson-h)

my-heaven-has-green-eyes:

toopaletofunction:

staythatswhatimeanttosay:

One nation, under Canada, above Mexico.

with liberty and justice for some 

that’s it that’s the country

(via praiseworthybread)

scottish:

hearin a really shitty pun
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makin a really shitty pun
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(via cornflakefiesta)

lxxxve:

It’s almost as if it’s not his kid but it’s his suitcase so he keeps going.

(Source: cineraria, via praiseworthybread)

carriesfirstperiod:

my mom just looked at a spider at our kitchen and yelled “why do you have to be like that? you dont need that many eyes or legs you need to stop”

(Source: lmpossibleprincess, via ellenpagenotfound)

nogstuck:

frosty-lips:

reblog if you’ve been through all of them <3

if you havent been through all of them that means you are younger than 13 and why the frick are you on the internet go outside and play in the yard

(via praiseworthybread)

quazza:

what if bodies just had random errors like computers do

you go to receive your starbucks coffee and accidentally punch the barrista in the face then shit on the floor

(via pizza)

tittily:

my favorite thing about england is that the word pulp doesnt exist 

(via adrinivashkov)

explosivecake25:

chieguevara:

joyceanfartboner:

Nice!

Nice! Nice!

Nice! Nice! Nice!

(via shinyjpg)

kas-a:

STRAIGHT BOYS AT THEIR FUCKING FINEST

(Source: kas-a, via haailhydra)

melkior:

send hELP

(via haailhydra)

xorestesfastingx:

chae-min:

"Help, I’ve fallen glamorously and I can’t get up ;]"

All of the other mannequins look like they’re so sick of his shit.

"God damn it, Jerry’s at it again.

(via troyesivan)

katiemyladyy:

clashing-oceans:

Why aren’t we talking about Dylan sprouse have you SEEN his tweets?

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GUYS SERIOUSLY 
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G U Y S
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we could have had a singing career.

(via haailhydra)

(Source: insipidplus, via awkwardvagina)